Sunday, June 8, 2008

The pain of alcoholism in the family

This is a post recently posted on the Cyber Recovery Fellowship. I don't think it is much different than what GCASA's counselors deal with regularly.

I don't know if this is strictly for people with an addiction, but I guess you can consider me with an addiction. I don't drink, do drugs but I am a child of two past and current alcholics as well as a sister of an alcholic. I am currently in Alanon and counsling for co-dependency, being in a marriage where my husband is addicted to pills and of course my brother.

I have taken my brother in my home with the knowledge of his past , DUI's, Jail, hit and runs. He was clean of alchol and I was so happy to finally have my older brother being able to expierance that relationship is something I will never regret. I did waike up everyday with fear of losing him, losing the brother I always wanted and finally had to alchol again.

The other day I noticed a personality change, he became my dad, then he was standing next to me and I could smell a faint smell of beer. I was putting stuff together for a yard sale and I went in the room he has been sleeping to grap some things then I noticed the famous duffel bag, where he would always sneak beers into my moms house. I looked in it and found empty beer bottles and cans, then today I noticed outside some beer caps on my patio.

He has no where else to go, he has burned all of his bridges with anyone close to him. I have not approached him at this point because I need to do the right thing.

Prior to him staying with me I told him that if he is to drink he can not stay here, I have a 5 year old daughter who senses everything around her and she I have to put her best interest first being her mother.

I guess I am torn between giving him a second warning since I already gave him a warning prior to drinking or to I have to stand my ground and follow the clear boundries that I already set?

My brother is 36 years old, no health insurance so rehab is not an option ---- which he has done a few times already. I don't want him to feel unloved because I love him dearly but I can't let him take advantage (if that is the word) of me .

Please , anyone help me. He has no job because he lost his last from alcohol and him being a felon he has difficulty getting one. I am the only working one in the household and it isn't enough to cover the bills as is, so while he has been staying here it has been without cost, he has been spending the loose change around the house on the beers.

What do I do, where will he go, what should I say?

If you are a counselor, or a friend, what would you say to this women?

Video about alcoholic Barbie and co-dependent Ken lasts about 4:46

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